Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
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Lessons and Notes:
The bulk of introverts display sensitive personality traits, picking up on small details in their environments.
Introverts are more easily stimulated than extroverts.
The tiny things extroverts may never pay attention to are the things that introverts examine heavily.
Philosophy and morality fascinate introverts.
Conversations about the latest TV shows or workplace gossip comes easily to extroverts.
Introverts don’t like small talk. They hate the barrier it builds between people.
“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”
Introverts listen more, speak less; read more, socialize less
Introverts like to think before they speak.
For introverts, it’s much easier to observe and ponder.
Introverts prefer “pajamas over people.”
You don’t have to be an extrovert to be charismatic.
Many introverts are great public speakers, leaders, & communicators, but they still have a need to spend more of their time in quieter ways.
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”
“Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.”
If you’re told that you’re “in your head too much,” that means you’re a “thinker”
Highly-reactive introverts sweat more profusely.
Einstein, a definite introvert once stated “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer.”
When someone offers you an alcoholic beverage, “what they’re really saying is, have a drink of extroversion.”
Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of their loved ones or work they deem important.
Participating in an online working group is a form of solitude all its own.
Einstein once stated “I am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem or teamwork, for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is imperative that one person do the thinking and the commanding.”
“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
Solitude is the air introverts breathe.
Speaking to strangers at a party and being interviewed for a job can cause extreme anxiety for introverts. But this isn’t due to shyness. It’s because introverts prefer quieter, less stimulating environments. Observing the spirits of everyone around them & processing all this new information is an overwhelming task on the brains of introverts.
Being shy is NOT the same as being introverted.
“Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not.”
If you’re an introvert, be away from the center during group gatherings. That physical distance will allow you to experience more comfort, letting you scan the room and comment from an angle ever so slightly removed.
Many high-reactive introverts become entrepreneurs, writers, accountants, or engineers. These careers give you the opportunity to work independently. You’re protected from encountering unexpected and highly stimulating things.
Whoever is the loudest is not necessarily the smartest.
Unlike in the U.S. and Europe, introverts are valued in Asia.
In western cultures, success lies in how extroverted you are.
“Evangelicalism has taken the Extrovert Ideal to its logical extreme…If you don’t love Jesus out loud, then it must not be real love. It’s not enough to forge your own spiritual connection to the divine; it must be displayed publicly.”
“Our culture is biased against quiet and reserved people, but introverts are responsible for some of humanity’s greatest achievements.”
In Asian cultures, speaking out of turn and being loud and chatty is considered offensive.
Certain environments cause introverts to feel restless. Don’t pressure an introvert into huge social situations. Instead, do it bit by bit. This increases their confidence.
Many of the most creative people in the world are introverts. They flourish when given privacy to work.
Microsoft and Pixar Animation Studios have attempted to find the balance between group effort and privacy, by pushing for the establishment of individual offices, and making use of sliding doors and moveable walls to increase or lessen privacy.
The internet might be the greatest discovery of all time for introverts, as it allows them to influence the world right from their bedroom, away from highly stimulating people and locations. Many say that they can reveal and express their true selves online in ways that they might not be able to do in face-to-face interactions.
Our sensory organs decide how we react to the environment around us.
Kids who respond strongly to external stimuli grow up to be introverts, while others are less sensitive to their surroundings become extroverts.
Introverts are better than extroverts at delaying gratification.
People who use Botox, to treat their angry resting face, seem to overall be less prone to anger than those who don’t use Botox, because the very act of frowning causes the amygdala to generate negative emotions. Botox not only can gratify you physically but also emotionally.
Forcing an introvert who is afraid of public speaking to give a talk front of thousands of strangers is a terrible idea. Instead, allow them to first prepare by gradually easing into it and then practicing their speech in front of people they know and trust first.
Even the top colleges, like Harvard, try to mold their graduates into extroverts, by pressuring them to participate in group work, conferences, and even social nightlife & entertainment with their fellow students as part of their program.
Introverts tended to be more emotionally stable resulting in higher performance as revealed at an investment bank comprised of 64 traders.
In United States, social anxiety takes the form of extreme worry about embarrassing oneself, however, in Asian countries such as japan, social anxiety takes the form of extreme worry about embarrassing others.
In Asia, people honor their relationships immensely. They’d rather embarrass themselves than embarrass others.
When it comes to creative problem-solving among introverts and extroverts, the best process is a hybrid model where you go off by yourself first just to reflect and then you mesh as a group to share your insights.
Open-plan offices have been found to lessen productivity and weaken memory due to uncontrollable distractions, noise, and loss of privacy.
Companies need to adjust their workstations for introverts as well as introverts tend to think best in solitude.